Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
