How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
