this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
