I'm eating all of the evidence.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
