She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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