69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
you're hired as official boob wrangler
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
