your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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