I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
