moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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