His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
