We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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