i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
