How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Naked Twister starts at high noon
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
