The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
