People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
