i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
