This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
