do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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