I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
