Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
