I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
