Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
