that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
My ATM looks so different sober.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
