If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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