I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
