She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
