Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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