My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
