His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
