Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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