Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
