apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
