ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
