super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
