girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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