ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
