I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
and she was petting her beer can
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Dicks are not precious.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
