you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
