I wish I could teleport
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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