so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just invented taco cereal.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I have fence marks all over my body
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
