Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
