I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
