We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
