In the future we'll all be gay
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
