Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
