is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
