Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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