I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
