The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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