Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Come share oat with me in your robe
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
