you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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